Trying to catch up on all of my thoughts

Since April our lives seem to be in this never-ending shadow of sadness, pain, and anger but we hope that our luck will change soon.

To recap the past couple of months, I had a miscarriage in April that really tore me up inside. It was just hard to know that my little boy or girl was alive one minute, then gone the next. Ended up having to have surgery to move the miscarriage along since my body did not want to let go. So the whole month of April was spent pretty much dealing with the miscarriage and all of that.

Fast forward to May, and we have even more fun in store for us. On May 24, 2010 I received a call at work that my husband had been in a motorcycle accident on his way to work. I honestly thought my coworkers were messing with me, and I actually laughed when they told me (it was more in disbelief then anything else).
My life stopped when it finally sank in and I found myself running from my office to my car, so that I could get to the hospital. I had no idea how bad he was, but I knew deep down he was still alive and that's all that mattered. I could still feel my husband's presence even though he was all the way across town, and I had not spoken with him yet. There are moments of the drive to the hospital that I can not remember though. I do remember driving 80 mph all the way to the hospital. I could not help it, I had to get to him. When I finally got to the hospital he had already been assessed by the EMTs and ER docs, and they had already done a CT scan on him. He took the majority of the impact to his face, but luckily sustained no massive injuries.
When I walked into the ER and saw him laying on the table with a neck brace still on and blood all over him, I almost passed out. He just looked awful, and from far away you would have been sure he had massive head trauma. The MD was still stitching up his face when I arrived. He ended up with 5 stitches under his nose, because he ripped a hole through his upper lip. He also had 3 stitches inside his mouth, and 2 on the left side of his face. He had a massive black eye, and serious swelling of his face. The EMTs cut all of his clothes off, because they were not sure where else he was bleeding from. Luckily it was just his face, and nose that had been bleeding.

Even now when I think about his accident my heart aches, because I know how close I came to losing my husband, my best friend that day. I'm not a religious person by any means, but I know that someone was watching out for him that day because it could have been so much worse. We figured out that the majority of the impact was to the right side of his head, and that if he had not been wearing his helmet the right side of his face would have been crushed, and he would have died. It's been almost 4 weeks since the accident now, and my hubby is doing much better. His bike will be in the shop for a while, but at least its not total lose.

As for the up coming months, the biggest thing on my horizon is going back to school in the fall. I am planning to get some of my pre-reqs for the Physician's Assistant program at Duke completed. I think I will have at least 2 yrs worth of that to do, that includes taking my GREs, before I can even apply to the program. I think at this point in my life this is the right choice to make. If I end up getting pregnant during this time, that's ok because the classes will still transfer to the PA program once I am ready to apply.