Saturday, December 26, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
Boldly going where I have never been before.
(I apologize in advance to anyone who reads this post, as it will be talking about lots of womanly stuff. You've been warned)
So as of September, I have been off my birth control pills. It’s been kind of a weird 3 months. When you are on birth control for a long time (I was on mine for about 13 years, with the occasional break), you forget how annoying your period can be. Believe it or not, I actually forgot what it was like to have menstrual cramps. They suck!!
Most recently though, I have been feeling my monthly ovulation. I know it sounds weird, but it’s true. Yesterday was the worst since I stopped my pills. I was having such bad abdominal pain yesterday that I almost went to the ER. Especially since I had a miscarriage 2 years ago, and really had no idea what was going on at the time. The egg was stuck in my tube, and there was no heartbeat. So, I was given meds to help the process along. Let me tell you, nothing like getting stuck with 2 huge needles in the butt after you just found out you lost your baby. Not fun at all. I even ended up in the hosptial after the meds. I felt like I was having a heart attack. Turns out, it was just my body doing its job. But anyway, that was then. I just hope I don't have any problems if/when I get pregnant again. Don't know if I could handle it.
But after doing A LOT of reading, I realized the pain was from ovulating after all. The pain has since stopped, which is good. The only semi-worrying thing now is that I could possibly be pregnant. Not a bad thing; that was the whole point in stopping the pill. But still, I'm nervous. It’s hard to be so conflicted about having children. I think the thing that scares me most is the simple fact of where that little bundle of joy will be exiting from. Of course that's not my only worry about having a child. There's always the issue of money, and the question of "are we really ready to have a child". I would have to say at this point, I am about as ready as I'm going to be. One comforting thing that I hear a lot from parents, is that you are never really ready. Which I totally understand, especially since they don't come with an instruction manual.
Anyway, I have the next 2 weeks to wonder in the back of my mind, am I pregnant? Waiting sucks! Someone just needs to come out with an even earlier pregnancy test. That would be sweet! But until then, I will just have to wait it out, and try not to get my hopes up too much. I'll be back in a couple of weeks to let you know : )
So as of September, I have been off my birth control pills. It’s been kind of a weird 3 months. When you are on birth control for a long time (I was on mine for about 13 years, with the occasional break), you forget how annoying your period can be. Believe it or not, I actually forgot what it was like to have menstrual cramps. They suck!!
Most recently though, I have been feeling my monthly ovulation. I know it sounds weird, but it’s true. Yesterday was the worst since I stopped my pills. I was having such bad abdominal pain yesterday that I almost went to the ER. Especially since I had a miscarriage 2 years ago, and really had no idea what was going on at the time. The egg was stuck in my tube, and there was no heartbeat. So, I was given meds to help the process along. Let me tell you, nothing like getting stuck with 2 huge needles in the butt after you just found out you lost your baby. Not fun at all. I even ended up in the hosptial after the meds. I felt like I was having a heart attack. Turns out, it was just my body doing its job. But anyway, that was then. I just hope I don't have any problems if/when I get pregnant again. Don't know if I could handle it.
But after doing A LOT of reading, I realized the pain was from ovulating after all. The pain has since stopped, which is good. The only semi-worrying thing now is that I could possibly be pregnant. Not a bad thing; that was the whole point in stopping the pill. But still, I'm nervous. It’s hard to be so conflicted about having children. I think the thing that scares me most is the simple fact of where that little bundle of joy will be exiting from. Of course that's not my only worry about having a child. There's always the issue of money, and the question of "are we really ready to have a child". I would have to say at this point, I am about as ready as I'm going to be. One comforting thing that I hear a lot from parents, is that you are never really ready. Which I totally understand, especially since they don't come with an instruction manual.
Anyway, I have the next 2 weeks to wonder in the back of my mind, am I pregnant? Waiting sucks! Someone just needs to come out with an even earlier pregnancy test. That would be sweet! But until then, I will just have to wait it out, and try not to get my hopes up too much. I'll be back in a couple of weeks to let you know : )
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
How time flys...
(This was written from 11/29-12/1/2009. Sorry I did not post sooner)
I got back on sunday from a crazy trip back to N.H. and Upstate N.Y. this past weekend. I swear its still a blur. I left for NH with my husband at like 2 am Thanksgiving day. We got to NH around 6 pm that night, I think. We hit a lot of traffic when we went through NJ, so it put us behind schedule. Anyway, we left the next evening for Upstate NY, and arrived there around 11 pm. We spent all day Saturday in NY. While there I went to my 10 year high school reunion. I was a nervous wreck the whole time. I had to leave after a couple of hours since I had to be up at 5 am to get my plane back to Raleigh on Sunday. I'm glad I got to go to the reunion, but it was very weird/hard to see some of the people who were there. I don't mean this in a bad way at all, it was just hard for ME to see certain people that were there. I wish I could have stayed later to hang out though, because there were some people I did not get a chance to chat with. I think it may have also been a little hard on me since my husband was with me. Its kind of weird when your husband is in the same room with like 3 of your Exs. Not to mention that he actually talked to 2 of the them, and just knew who the 3rd one was from a brief previous meeting.
Life, how funny you are sometimes. Anyway, it was just really weird.
So, started my new job on Monday 11/30/09. Super happy with it so far : ) I have not talked about it much on FB since a lot of my friends are from my old job, and I really feel bad for them right now. The old office I worked in is terrible. People know about staff turn around, so no one experienced wants to work there. It just sucks. Anyway, really not my problem anymore, but I still feel bad. My new job is awesome! Today for instance, got to work at 8 am; talked with my boss about what I was going to do today. I had 3 choices: I could shadow her in clinic, observe the EUS procedure, or I could observe the ERCP procedure. I choice the EUS procedure, so she took me up to the department. Its about 9 am now, and there are no patients ready for procedure yet. The first one had not shown up yet, so we wait. While waiting I sat at the computer surfing the web. Trying to at least keep it to necessary surfing, i.e. looking up stuff about applying to the PA program. An hour goes by, no patient. Keep surfing, and next thing I notice its like 11 am! Two patients did not show up for their procedures. At that point my boss stopped in to see how it was going. I told her no patients yet, and chose to go back down to her office and work on stuff. Around 12:30 pm I went to lunch, and chilled for a while. Eventually went back to my bosses office to work on stuff. Its about 1:30 pm now, and we were just asked to come back up stairs to help with clinic. We were up there for about an hour and a half, and then went back to my boss' office. After about an hour of paperwork stuff, we left at 4:30 pm. And that was it, I got to go home on time (and a little early for that matter).
Now, compared to my old job, this is like being back in school. I'm learning so many new things, and fitting in really well with everyone. It almost feels wrong.
I got back on sunday from a crazy trip back to N.H. and Upstate N.Y. this past weekend. I swear its still a blur. I left for NH with my husband at like 2 am Thanksgiving day. We got to NH around 6 pm that night, I think. We hit a lot of traffic when we went through NJ, so it put us behind schedule. Anyway, we left the next evening for Upstate NY, and arrived there around 11 pm. We spent all day Saturday in NY. While there I went to my 10 year high school reunion. I was a nervous wreck the whole time. I had to leave after a couple of hours since I had to be up at 5 am to get my plane back to Raleigh on Sunday. I'm glad I got to go to the reunion, but it was very weird/hard to see some of the people who were there. I don't mean this in a bad way at all, it was just hard for ME to see certain people that were there. I wish I could have stayed later to hang out though, because there were some people I did not get a chance to chat with. I think it may have also been a little hard on me since my husband was with me. Its kind of weird when your husband is in the same room with like 3 of your Exs. Not to mention that he actually talked to 2 of the them, and just knew who the 3rd one was from a brief previous meeting.
Life, how funny you are sometimes. Anyway, it was just really weird.
So, started my new job on Monday 11/30/09. Super happy with it so far : ) I have not talked about it much on FB since a lot of my friends are from my old job, and I really feel bad for them right now. The old office I worked in is terrible. People know about staff turn around, so no one experienced wants to work there. It just sucks. Anyway, really not my problem anymore, but I still feel bad. My new job is awesome! Today for instance, got to work at 8 am; talked with my boss about what I was going to do today. I had 3 choices: I could shadow her in clinic, observe the EUS procedure, or I could observe the ERCP procedure. I choice the EUS procedure, so she took me up to the department. Its about 9 am now, and there are no patients ready for procedure yet. The first one had not shown up yet, so we wait. While waiting I sat at the computer surfing the web. Trying to at least keep it to necessary surfing, i.e. looking up stuff about applying to the PA program. An hour goes by, no patient. Keep surfing, and next thing I notice its like 11 am! Two patients did not show up for their procedures. At that point my boss stopped in to see how it was going. I told her no patients yet, and chose to go back down to her office and work on stuff. Around 12:30 pm I went to lunch, and chilled for a while. Eventually went back to my bosses office to work on stuff. Its about 1:30 pm now, and we were just asked to come back up stairs to help with clinic. We were up there for about an hour and a half, and then went back to my boss' office. After about an hour of paperwork stuff, we left at 4:30 pm. And that was it, I got to go home on time (and a little early for that matter).
Now, compared to my old job, this is like being back in school. I'm learning so many new things, and fitting in really well with everyone. It almost feels wrong.
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