My heart has broken

It has been a very hard week. We found out on Monday (4/5/10) that we lost our baby. The baby stopped growing, and there was no longer a heartbeat. The baby should have been 11 wks the week we found out. It has been very hard to deal with. We were so happy to finally be having a baby. We waited weeks to tell people, because of the first miscarriage we had back in 2007. Its just not fair!! I feel like we got jipped, even after we waited to tell everyone! I am so angry, sad, shocked, lost, empty; I just can't believe it happened to us again. Not only did I have a miscarriage, I had a missed-miscarriage. That means that my body did not know that the baby had died. I was still having pregnancy symptoms, and my body was still growing. It didn't matter though, because my baby was dead inside me for 3 weeks. I felt so betrayed by my body at first, but now I think I just didn't want to let go of my baby. I ended up having a d&c, there was no way I could go through another natural miscarriage. I was so scared going into surgery on Friday. It was such a sad morning, because I had to say goodbye to my baby. The surgery did go very well, and the doctor said we should be just fine to start trying again in 4 weeks. We are looking forward to the next 4 weeks flying by. We really want to start a family, and we are more determined then ever to get started ; )